Thursday 10 August 2017

6 Traits Of A Kick Ass Single Mumma

Truth be told, I never set out to be a single Mumma, I did not even set out to be a Mumma! I thought I was sick and caught the lurgies from a girl in the office, took me 8 times of peeing on a pregnancy stick to remotely convince myself that I was in actual fact pregnant! In all honesty, I didn't know what to do, where to go and how to even tell her my daughter's father. But I had a decision to make and one that needed making real quick, and you know what it was the best decision I have ever made in my life and one that changed me for the better.

Yes being a single parent can be frustrating, I mean you can't go for a crap on your own, morning coffees the one to get you going for the day you wanna make and enjoy in peace, to realise that there is no bloody milk in the house and the babe is still asleep, so you have to wait until they rise to go and get milk, then they are up and know you need milk, but wanna take their sweet merry time to get ready, then wanna dress up as Elsa, shoes and everything then dress the cat up too as Olaf and put him in the toy buggy, which god knows why he sits in! Those frustrating single parent dramas, you know the ones I mean. But for all, it's downsides, where your child leaves the house looking like a clown and you just think MEH! The best bit about single parenthood is all the cuddles and unconditional love, that sometimes you think do I deserve this?! Well yeah I do, I mean for the past three years I've had an audience whilst crapping.

But jokes set aside, us single Mummas deserve a lot more credit after all we are totally kicking this single parenthood arse/ass. How can you tell well I am sharing 7 Traits of a Kick Ass Single Mumma, guaranteed you are already nailing most of these without even knowing it.

Nothing now fazes us, you got something that needs doing, we get it done you learn not to depend on anyone and we recover quickly from bullshit.

We are a lot stronger than most, we man-up and get on with it, no moping (that's what Friday nights with prosecco is for, after a long week with work and the kids, whilst gossiping on the phone)   around. Even our bodies are stronger, you carry a sleeping kid, that's dead weight peeps, plus you got a gazillion heavy shopping bags, the ones with the 4-pint milk, cat food, tin sh*t, fresh fruit and veg you know those bags.

We have mastered this and got this down to a T! To making a packed lunch for the days adventures, at the same time whilst booking the vet, putting a load of washing on and thinking about dinner and heading to the hardware store, to buy that shelf you wanna put up later.

Now, this has been the hardest pill for us Mummas to swallow, but by heck, we do it well and with grace! Check this, Leanora found my nail varnish the other day I said I'll paint her nails but later, it's blue, so in her eyes its Elsa blue, so I put it up high on a shelf, I am in the kitchen all is quite, cats not running around being chased, something is afoot! Half the bleeding bottle had only fallen out on to my bloody expensive sofas, yes sofas, not one but the both of them, to top it off she painted her nails dodgily and was just about to paint the cats, poor Milo! What did I do? Well, my eyes literally rolled into the back of my head I thought I was going to pass out! Instead, I said a little prayer with Madonna and went out and did the gardening, aggressively! Told Ya forgiveness, plus I was able to get the garden done, win-win. Yes, I did clean it up later and wash the sofas, not all out, but that's what my new throws from H&M are for.

You gotta be able to laugh, I mean you've read my 10 Things I said since becoming a parent. After all, you don't laugh you'll cry and you gotta find that strength to get through, not for you, but the kids.

I mean, the kids have little legs, after all, you're running late for work, they wanna walk crazy slow knowing you gotta get sh*t done, but hey, that's how you master the art of patience.

There are probably a lot more traits I've missed off, but these are the important ones and the one that we learn to master quickly and well. To all, you other single Mumma's and pa's too out their I salute you. After all this list could go on, but it's 6:30 am, the babe will soon wake, and we have to leave the house in an hour, I've got this post to publish, kid to take to preschool, go to the post office, sort the cat out and get to work before 10 am, oh yeah and Instagram stuff to do! Never ends ha!

Here is to you all have a kick ass day.

London Mumma xx



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