Tuesday 8 November 2016

5 Embarrasing Things That's Happened Since Becoming A Parent


Since becoming a Mumma, I have to say I've no shame left, from having my mother in headlock, legs akimbo whilst giving birth and kicking the midwife in the face, and getting up off that bed and leaving the birthing room looking more like the end scene of Scarface (That shall be in another post) and leaky boobs. I think it's fair to say that I have no shame left.......Or so I thought.

Queue the list, it his here for all to view.

1. Boob out in the cab

So one route to my mother's house in the cab, Leanora must have been just over a year old, (breastfeed until 18 months) prior to us getting in I must have just fed her. I noticed that the cab driver was eyeballing me for a good 5 minutes, I thought what the hell is this muppets deal! Well, I soon found blood out, it was not until I go to the top of the road to my destination, that I have looked down and there it was Nipple Gate out on show...FML

2. Leaky Boob

So in a very serious meeting whilst at work, I knew that I should have expressed but thought, it will be alright, it will only last for 30 mins, 10 minutes in, I had my colleague cracking up asking me for milk for his coffee, damn leaky boobs. To top it off, I was wearing a silk shirt, my fave to boot and it was stained! Why oh why!

3. Come to Mumma

Comforting a friend, who was terribly upset. We were out having lunch, and you could see she was very emotional and just needed a cuddle, so, me being a great friend, who you can call on for support, only to say to her very loudly (the next table heard in horror) 'Come to Mumma'! No, I do not have a 33-year-old child, what the hell was I thinking! At least it cheered her right up, the worst part about it was, I seriously didn't realise I had said it until she told me whilst cracking up!

4. Flatulence

I was actually pregnant at the time, very heavily pregnant may I add, technically some may say that I was not a parent, but I was at the ripe stage of 8 months, so technically my little Cha-Chi had formed into a full fledged human. So on the phone gossiping as you do, approaching me was a delightful family, mother clearly on the school pick-up, I got quite excited and coughed and out came a very large fart, clearly I'm not going to own up to it, so I turned to the little girl and said very loudly 'excuse you', to which her mother shouted Have some manners Poppy, save it for home!. A quickly scurried off down the next road.

5.  Potty Shame

So a little while ago, ok, ok a few weeks ago! You know how it is, an extremely tired parent needing to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, the nights have become colder and I just couldn't be arsed to go all the way to the bathroom! What do I spy out the corner of my eye, Leanora's potty (oh yes I did)I quickly or so I thought, I went, only to look up and see my darling Cha-Chi staring at me mortified, asking me what am I doing and to get off her potty! The horror! The shame! I would say that I was just as mortified as she, I mean the cheek I'm a grown arse woman! But alas, I clearly have no shame since becoming a parent and sharing these embarrassing gems with you all.

Well ladies and gents, there it is. I do hope you've enjoyed my embarrassing stories as much as you enjoyed my 10 Things I Never thought I'd Say, But Now I'm A Parent It's Cool!

I would love to hear your embarrassing stories, leave your comments below. Just please tell me someone's got one more horrendous than my own lol!

Don't forget you can catch up with my crazy embarrassing stories over on Facebook or Bloglovin.

Have an awesome week everyone.

London Mumma. x

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