Now I would never give up working, I am not that type of person to be a housewife, well I am not even close to having that as an opportunity, not that I would even embrace it, I am/we are providers for our families. But when I had that time at home whilst on maternity leave, I could not bloody wait to get back to work, I love my kid and all, she is a cutie going through that sassy threenager stage, but I need my own time, does that make me a bad Mumma, like fuck it does. I think as women and society we can face a lot of dilemmas, pressure, and prejudice even, women with young kids should stay at home and do the whole Susie home maker crap, sod that I say.
Yes it is hard, and I feel at times a bad parent, because I do not get to spend as much time with my daughter as I would like, but should I, should we not go out there show our babies, that you know what it is good to work, to work for something, be it a mortgage payment, a holiday, god forbid clothes and food. These are the dilemmas that us mothers, single or otherwise can face. But what some do not realise, we have our own dilemmas and demons and it affects us just as much our children
To stay or not to stay
Yes, when returning to work we do face certain difficulties, such as our children being left in someone else care, they teaching them their A, B, C's and 1,2,3's and thinking that is our role as mothers, parents even. But it is good to have that separation and making sure you child is in the right and safe environment, it is good for the both of you. For both mother and child/ren to have that time apart, it only makes the heart grow fonder, plus your kids can get tired of the site of you.
Sacrifice
When we become parents your life changes from the moment, you see PREGNANT on the pregnancy test and you make the decision to become a parent. Me time, we time goes out the window and it all about kid time! We sacrifice, for our children for their love and to keep them happy and the odd occasion when you want a bit of peace and quiet or your program has just come on! We make sacrifices, for the unconditional love between parent and child, hence why even planning on returning or going back into work is a good sacrifice, not a selfish one, after all, we are providers now and a cheeky 8 hour day so you can have a little me time is not a bad thing. But for all the sacrifices we have to makes as parents, they are worth it all in the end. Even if it means a life time of an audience whilst going for a crap.
Am I enough
We can be our own worst enemies at the best of times, we can doubt ourselves and beat ourselves up thinking are we doing, feeding and teaching our kids the right thing. Everyone's teaching and learning life experiences are different, but what you have to understand and yes I included. I am enough for our kids, I mean Leanora thinks I am all that and then some!
With so many dilemmas we face as mothers, they are all worth it in the end and makes us and our children stronger. Have you faced certain dilemmas since becoming a mother, or father? How have you over come those dilemmas?
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London Mumma xx
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CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW ME ON BLOGLOVIN
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As adults we have enough pressure on us, be it the boss at work, friends, relationships you name it! but becoming a parent, especially one for the first time is is the most stressful, more stressful than choosing your Friday night takeaway.
So I thought I put some top tips for any soon to be or thinking first time parents mind at ease, it's not all plain sailing and airy fairy, things are going to get real and real quick too, so let's throw that anxiety away and let's get stuck in shall we, you've enough time to worry, 18 years to be precise!
The beginning
Well initially I wanted to start at the end, but I thought better of it. The moment you decide you are bringing a new addition to your family, a no brainer speak with your doctor about the first steps and get your appointments booked in. Secondly keep healthy and active, trust me you'll thank me for it when going in to labour! Look for yoga and Pilates classes, yoga to help stretch your body for your ever growing bump and body. Pilates to help strengthen you and build that muscle ( not in a body builder way) to help with all the extra weight, plus my favourite bit at the end of class was sitting in a row with the other pregnant ladies and having a spike all rubbed over your back, the first time this happened I groaned so loudly and rolled my eyes, all the other women laughed at me and said 'yep we remember our first time too' classes can not be started until around the 14 week mark, but they get booked up so quickly it's worth getting a head start on it.
The middle
Baby is nearly here, you've probably downed your weight in Gaviscon for your acid reflux. You have the all clear, time to look at planning on maternity leave, if you can save up all your holiday from work,use that time up a month before you plan on going on leave, that way you can have a month off work, leaving you with 10 months pay as opposed to the 9 months (comes in handy) this time nesting would of kicked in to overdrive. So prep your hospital bag, get all the new baby clothes washed and folded, maybe plan or have our friends plan you a baby shower.
The end
Well you've made it ladies and gents, your precious little one is here safely in your arms, congratulations you can breathe a sigh of relief and relax, you've got a least 24-72 hours max before your little one realises they are out of the womb into the real world, so take this time for the three or two of you to get to know one another, because once they've realised, what's going on that's when the real adventure begins. But for now the guests can wait you've got some bonding time to do and enjoy it, you've got the rest of your lives learning about one another.
I hope you like my Top Tips For First Time Parents! Do you have any Top Tips?
London Mumma xx
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