Now I would never give up working, I am not that type of person to be a housewife, well I am not even close to having that as an opportunity, not that I would even embrace it, I am/we are providers for our families. But when I had that time at home whilst on maternity leave, I could not bloody wait to get back to work, I love my kid and all, she is a cutie going through that sassy threenager stage, but I need my own time, does that make me a bad Mumma, like fuck it does. I think as women and society we can face a lot of dilemmas, pressure, and prejudice even, women with young kids should stay at home and do the whole Susie home maker crap, sod that I say.
Yes it is hard, and I feel at times a bad parent, because I do not get to spend as much time with my daughter as I would like, but should I, should we not go out there show our babies, that you know what it is good to work, to work for something, be it a mortgage payment, a holiday, god forbid clothes and food. These are the dilemmas that us mothers, single or otherwise can face. But what some do not realise, we have our own dilemmas and demons and it affects us just as much our children
To stay or not to stay
Yes, when returning to work we do face certain difficulties, such as our children being left in someone else care, they teaching them their A, B, C's and 1,2,3's and thinking that is our role as mothers, parents even. But it is good to have that separation and making sure you child is in the right and safe environment, it is good for the both of you. For both mother and child/ren to have that time apart, it only makes the heart grow fonder, plus your kids can get tired of the site of you.
Sacrifice
When we become parents your life changes from the moment, you see PREGNANT on the pregnancy test and you make the decision to become a parent. Me time, we time goes out the window and it all about kid time! We sacrifice, for our children for their love and to keep them happy and the odd occasion when you want a bit of peace and quiet or your program has just come on! We make sacrifices, for the unconditional love between parent and child, hence why even planning on returning or going back into work is a good sacrifice, not a selfish one, after all, we are providers now and a cheeky 8 hour day so you can have a little me time is not a bad thing. But for all the sacrifices we have to makes as parents, they are worth it all in the end. Even if it means a life time of an audience whilst going for a crap.
Am I enough
We can be our own worst enemies at the best of times, we can doubt ourselves and beat ourselves up thinking are we doing, feeding and teaching our kids the right thing. Everyone's teaching and learning life experiences are different, but what you have to understand and yes I included. I am enough for our kids, I mean Leanora thinks I am all that and then some!
With so many dilemmas we face as mothers, they are all worth it in the end and makes us and our children stronger. Have you faced certain dilemmas since becoming a mother, or father? How have you over come those dilemmas?
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Truth be told, I never set out to be a single Mumma, I did not even set out to be a Mumma! I thought I was sick and caught the lurgies from a girl in the office, took me 8 times of peeing on a pregnancy stick to remotely convince myself that I was in actual fact pregnant! In all honesty, I didn't know what to do, where to go and how to even tell her my daughter's father. But I had a decision to make and one that needed making real quick, and you know what it was the best decision I have ever made in my life and one that changed me for the better.
Yes being a single parent can be frustrating, I mean you can't go for a crap on your own, morning coffees the one to get you going for the day you wanna make and enjoy in peace, to realise that there is no bloody milk in the house and the babe is still asleep, so you have to wait until they rise to go and get milk, then they are up and know you need milk, but wanna take their sweet merry time to get ready, then wanna dress up as Elsa, shoes and everything then dress the cat up too as Olaf and put him in the toy buggy, which god knows why he sits in! Those frustrating single parent dramas, you know the ones I mean. But for all, it's downsides, where your child leaves the house looking like a clown and you just think MEH! The best bit about single parenthood is all the cuddles and unconditional love, that sometimes you think do I deserve this?! Well yeah I do, I mean for the past three years I've had an audience whilst crapping.
But jokes set aside, us single Mummas deserve a lot more credit after all we are totally kicking this single parenthood arse/ass. How can you tell well I am sharing 7 Traits of a Kick Ass Single Mumma, guaranteed you are already nailing most of these without even knowing it.
Resilience
Nothing now fazes us, you got something that needs doing, we get it done you learn not to depend on anyone and we recover quickly from bullshit.
Strength
We are a lot stronger than most, we man-up and get on with it, no moping (that's what Friday nights with prosecco is for, after a long week with work and the kids, whilst gossiping on the phone) around. Even our bodies are stronger, you carry a sleeping kid, that's dead weight peeps, plus you got a gazillion heavy shopping bags, the ones with the 4-pint milk, cat food, tin sh*t, fresh fruit and veg you know those bags.
Multitaskers
We have mastered this and got this down to a T! To making a packed lunch for the days adventures, at the same time whilst booking the vet, putting a load of washing on and thinking about dinner and heading to the hardware store, to buy that shelf you wanna put up later.
Forgiveness
Now, this has been the hardest pill for us Mummas to swallow, but by heck, we do it well and with grace! Check this, Leanora found my nail varnish the other day I said I'll paint her nails but later, it's blue, so in her eyes its Elsa blue, so I put it up high on a shelf, I am in the kitchen all is quite, cats not running around being chased, something is afoot! Half the bleeding bottle had only fallen out on to my bloody expensive sofas, yes sofas, not one but the both of them, to top it off she painted her nails dodgily and was just about to paint the cats, poor Milo! What did I do? Well, my eyes literally rolled into the back of my head I thought I was going to pass out! Instead, I said a little prayer with Madonna and went out and did the gardening, aggressively! Told Ya forgiveness, plus I was able to get the garden done, win-win. Yes, I did clean it up later and wash the sofas, not all out, but that's what my new throws from H&M are for.
Laugh
You gotta be able to laugh, I mean you've read my 10 Things I said since becoming a parent. After all, you don't laugh you'll cry and you gotta find that strength to get through, not for you, but the kids.
Patience
I mean, the kids have little legs, after all, you're running late for work, they wanna walk crazy slow knowing you gotta get sh*t done, but hey, that's how you master the art of patience.
There are probably a lot more traits I've missed off, but these are the important ones and the one that we learn to master quickly and well. To all, you other single Mumma's and pa's too out their I salute you. After all this list could go on, but it's 6:30 am, the babe will soon wake, and we have to leave the house in an hour, I've got this post to publish, kid to take to preschool, go to the post office, sort the cat out and get to work before 10 am, oh yeah and Instagram stuff to do! Never ends ha!
Here is to you all have a kick ass day.
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