To be honest, I am totally winging parenthood which is fine by me as I am still growing into being a parent, even though I've been doing it safely to for 3 in a half years now and whilst I am may still be learning as I go along, I can share some of my wisdom that I have learnt since being a parent.
Whilst I am still trying to remember the time B.C (before children) it has me questioning, prior to that time did I really learn anything, well yeah I guess, how to knock back a few Jagerbombs after work and mastered the necessities to get through a hangover (bottle of coke, something in it relieves the hangover and a load of Chinese from Mr Liu, plus pizza for good measure) but I digress, did I?! Well yes, because I knew what council tax and water rates were. No, in terms of the fact that parenting is a whole new dimension, something that no matter how many books you read or a crackdown on Google to research from how to put a nappy on to finding out if you ever get any sleep when your child is older (the answer to that my friend is a big fat NO) you are still learning as you go, but there are things you do learn, 10 things so far. I do hope that they're helpful to someone out there....
1.
whilst I have never been made of stone, I have always had a guard up after being hurt so many times in my life, pre-parenting! But is that really healthy to be like that, no it was not healthy for me, but I tell you something, the moment you give birth or see your baby for the first time, those barriers break and you let your guard down! Whilst I like to think I am no pushover for my child, at times, Leanora knows just how to get me around her little sticky fingers and there is no shame in the game of letting your guard down for the most precious thing in your life and I am so thankful she came into my life and turning me in to mush.
2.
Whilst I have fallen in and out of love countless times in my life, I never experienced a love that is infinite as the one I have for my daughter and is returned in abundance.
3.
Parenting is a continuous battle, be it arguing over what to eat, what to wear to preschool, or who is going to feed that cat, I mean we even argue over who is going to lock the door, but whilst we may have silly arguments with our children the endless love and bond that you have makes up for those silly fights, this morning was over which Hotel Transylvania to watch!
4.
When your child starts attending nursery/school some may thrive or some may hate getting involved with the activities and events organised, I thought I would have been the latter person, but I have to say I love being involved, I think it is great to show support for my daughter, her pre-school and also great support for the community too, I thrive off being involved (except for when I forget to bring a dish in) plus it is a great way to make new parent friends too.
5.
screw adulthood, sometimes we all get that feeling when we just don't want to be adults and I say you know what we all deserve a little kid time, so there is nothing I love more, than a day off dedicating to fun, sticky filled parenting adventure with my bestie.
6.
You always have someone to talk to, have fun with laugh with and cry with (well you cry, they watch with sparkly laughing eyes, when they've just elbowed you in the boob) I am comfortable enough for us to have a clear separation of mother and daughter, but we are close enough for my child to feel comfortable to come and talk to me and ask me anything (for now...until she turns 13 I'm sure it will all change)
7.
You become your child's teacher, a mentor even your role and duty as a parent is to teach your child right from wrong, to love, to be able to guide them and give them tools in life to succeed and know that they can be anything they want in life.
8.
So much can change when you become a parent, mothers and fathers, mothers, in particular, are held in a different light at times and your place of work can penalise you for even having to cut back on hours or days, because you are a parent of a child, and I should know it has happened to me. I am a single hard working parent, I always go above and beyond for my employer/clients and I work just as hard as the next person, but I've even come under scrutiny just for not being able to work a particular day that week as I had to take my daughter to the doctors and the look I got was mortification, like I should not take my child to the doctors. It can be hard as a parent to find an employer that truly understands flexible working, but when you do stick with them.
9.
I did not realise the pressures of waiting for the school acceptance into your chosen school. I have only picked three for Leanora and the catchment area is a bitch, you literally for most schools have to live on the road, even then you are not guaranteed a place. It is so frustrating when they take siblings first even when the family has moved out of the area and at times borough.
What have been some of the things you have learnt since becoming a parent?
London Mumma xx
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Dress - Next SOLD OUT ( similar )
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Boots - Next (similar )
Dress - Next SOLD OUT ( similar )
I am wearing
Jumper - Topshop NOW IN THE SALE
Trousers - Mango NOW IN THE SALE
Boots - Topshop
Bag - Next
FOLLOW ME
BLOGLOVIN | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER | FACEBOOK
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I have to confess, I was dreading when I got to the threenager stage with Leanora, especially as I did find the terrible two's hard at the beginning, but it evened itself out.
Thank the Lord and a helping hand of wine aka mumma's juice!
Now 3 1/2 years old, and firmly in the threenager stage, it and my little sassy madam are fine, and you know what I am loving it and I am totally embracing it! Well, the days there is enough chocolate in the house to console myself with after I've faced her wrath and determination to conquer me.
Flaws and all, tantrums and tiaras (there have been lots, mostly all broken or trodden on) I let her get it out, cause if I don't allow her to express herself and give her a positive outlet and me ranting and raving it will get neither of us anywhere and I've learnt to understand as hard as it was, it is part of her development. This is your threenager expressing themselves, now let me me say, first and foremost I am by no means a push over, but this is the time, where they come out of their shell there character is being built and they serve you a whole load of reality of what is to come, in them taking and owning the world.
Now I am not saying the threenager stage is easy or hard, there are many more stages to come in our children's life, God knows it has been hard when Miss sassy pants, want's to walk as slow as hell, because she is walking with her soft toy 'Minnie Mouse', or hear this, she wants to enjoy the summer sun! Girl, do you not know Mumma has gotta go to work, or the shops closing in ten minutes on a Sunday and I gotta get the milk! But it is what is and I am loving this beauty and seeing her grow through it.
Confidence
This is the time they grow and shine and your child comes out of their shell. Confidence allows them to take more risks and control there own emotions, they don't care what others think, if it is good enough for them it's going to work. Even it means looking mismatched in their outfit, it's cool to them to wear two different pairs of shoes and they are rocking the hell out it.
Fun
They are fun and funny as hell, you find they are up for doing more activities and they encourage you to do more fun things, which is great for bonding time for you and them which they love. Leanora has already made me say things that I never thought I would say since becoming a parent and she is now saying things I never thought she would say, no look, for instance, I said to her on our, ok my lazy day, where I could not be bothered to cook, after all, it's Saturday. 'Do you want a hot dog or MacDonalds Leanora?' You know what the little minx said to me 'HotDonalds mummy' - Bloody hell, where did I get her from lol! Love it!
Intelligent
Nothing gets past them now, they are much quicker than you give them credit for and hell, a lot wittier too! They are like little sponges and soak up everything and more open minded to, to take in more information, just to catch you out and then call you out on it, for trying to out smart them.
How have you got on with the threenager stage, have you embraced or tried to hide under the bed, from those sassy little people? I would love to hear your comments and stories below.
A big thank you to Next for sending Leanora this fab Star dress. Her boots are from Zara.
London Mumma xx
Truth be told, I never set out to be a single Mumma, I did not even set out to be a Mumma! I thought I was sick and caught the lurgies from a girl in the office, took me 8 times of peeing on a pregnancy stick to remotely convince myself that I was in actual fact pregnant! In all honesty, I didn't know what to do, where to go and how to even tell her my daughter's father. But I had a decision to make and one that needed making real quick, and you know what it was the best decision I have ever made in my life and one that changed me for the better.
Yes being a single parent can be frustrating, I mean you can't go for a crap on your own, morning coffees the one to get you going for the day you wanna make and enjoy in peace, to realise that there is no bloody milk in the house and the babe is still asleep, so you have to wait until they rise to go and get milk, then they are up and know you need milk, but wanna take their sweet merry time to get ready, then wanna dress up as Elsa, shoes and everything then dress the cat up too as Olaf and put him in the toy buggy, which god knows why he sits in! Those frustrating single parent dramas, you know the ones I mean. But for all, it's downsides, where your child leaves the house looking like a clown and you just think MEH! The best bit about single parenthood is all the cuddles and unconditional love, that sometimes you think do I deserve this?! Well yeah I do, I mean for the past three years I've had an audience whilst crapping.
But jokes set aside, us single Mummas deserve a lot more credit after all we are totally kicking this single parenthood arse/ass. How can you tell well I am sharing 7 Traits of a Kick Ass Single Mumma, guaranteed you are already nailing most of these without even knowing it.
Resilience
Nothing now fazes us, you got something that needs doing, we get it done you learn not to depend on anyone and we recover quickly from bullshit.
Strength
We are a lot stronger than most, we man-up and get on with it, no moping (that's what Friday nights with prosecco is for, after a long week with work and the kids, whilst gossiping on the phone) around. Even our bodies are stronger, you carry a sleeping kid, that's dead weight peeps, plus you got a gazillion heavy shopping bags, the ones with the 4-pint milk, cat food, tin sh*t, fresh fruit and veg you know those bags.
Multitaskers
We have mastered this and got this down to a T! To making a packed lunch for the days adventures, at the same time whilst booking the vet, putting a load of washing on and thinking about dinner and heading to the hardware store, to buy that shelf you wanna put up later.
Forgiveness
Now, this has been the hardest pill for us Mummas to swallow, but by heck, we do it well and with grace! Check this, Leanora found my nail varnish the other day I said I'll paint her nails but later, it's blue, so in her eyes its Elsa blue, so I put it up high on a shelf, I am in the kitchen all is quite, cats not running around being chased, something is afoot! Half the bleeding bottle had only fallen out on to my bloody expensive sofas, yes sofas, not one but the both of them, to top it off she painted her nails dodgily and was just about to paint the cats, poor Milo! What did I do? Well, my eyes literally rolled into the back of my head I thought I was going to pass out! Instead, I said a little prayer with Madonna and went out and did the gardening, aggressively! Told Ya forgiveness, plus I was able to get the garden done, win-win. Yes, I did clean it up later and wash the sofas, not all out, but that's what my new throws from H&M are for.
Laugh
You gotta be able to laugh, I mean you've read my 10 Things I said since becoming a parent. After all, you don't laugh you'll cry and you gotta find that strength to get through, not for you, but the kids.
Patience
I mean, the kids have little legs, after all, you're running late for work, they wanna walk crazy slow knowing you gotta get sh*t done, but hey, that's how you master the art of patience.
There are probably a lot more traits I've missed off, but these are the important ones and the one that we learn to master quickly and well. To all, you other single Mumma's and pa's too out their I salute you. After all this list could go on, but it's 6:30 am, the babe will soon wake, and we have to leave the house in an hour, I've got this post to publish, kid to take to preschool, go to the post office, sort the cat out and get to work before 10 am, oh yeah and Instagram stuff to do! Never ends ha!
Here is to you all have a kick ass day.
The early bird catches the worm and all and what better way to start your day than with sunlight streaming in and bright blue skies. The key to boosting productivity and getting the most out of your days is being proactive from the moment you wake up in the morning, you won't get things done lazing around.
Pull back the curtains and open the windows
Nothing like bright blue skies and fresh air to kick start your day, so vanish the darkness from your slumber and let the morning glow flood in.
Make the bed
I know it can be a daunting task, but this simple routine will make you and your room look so much better when you arrive home later in the day. Always get this done, before leaving the room to get ready, well unless you have a sleeping toddler and cat inside it, but should be done before leaving the home. Nothing quite like jumping into fresh spread bed after a long day.
Brew time
I am a big time coffee lover and what better way, to get the day going than with a hot cup of Joe to start your morning, so before jumping in the shower fire up that bad boy coffee machine, so by the time you are out you are good to go. But whilst that's heating up it is important to keep hydrated so down a glass of water, water fires up your metabolism and helps flush out toxins.
Eat brekkie
We all know the importance of breakfast, so why should we skip it just because we are in a hurry, which can leave to bad choices which can lead you to eating junk. A great way to make sure you get breakfast is to prep it the night before, one of these tasty breakfast pops can be made in advance, just pop one out of the freezer and off you go. A bit more time in the house, from waking up earlier, then why not have avocado on toast, sprinkled with some chia seeds, all great sources of energy and will keep you filled, well until elevenses at least.
Tidy up
Nothing like coming home to a clean home, a clean tidy home is a happy home. So washing up and putting it away, to setting the laundry in the washing machine, so it is all ready to whizz up when you get in later, saves you time from doing it when you get home later, making you and your home more stress-free.
Doing these 5 things each morning, will leave leave you in a state of Joie de verve.
Do you have a morning routine?
London Mumma xx
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